Extreme Ownership in Music

I never thought I’d enjoy a book about Navy SEALs, let alone one written by them. As someone who values peace, I’ve always been wary of stories glorifying war. But while reading How to Get Better at (Almost) Everything, I stumbled upon Jocko Willink and Leif Babin’s Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win. Intrigued, I gave it a try and found myself hooked—not just by the leadership principles but also by the incredible war stories. Surprisingly, the lessons resonated deeply with my own work as a musician and teacher. One principle stood out: taking full responsibility for every aspect of your work, which they call “Extreme Ownership.” It immediately reminded me of how I approach learning and performing music.

This philosophy of ownership perfectly aligns with an idea I often emphasize to my students: mastering a “party piece.” This is a song you can play confidently at a moment’s notice when someone hands you a guitar at a gathering. Earlier this year, I went out of my way to ensure I “owned” every song requested for weddings, private parties, and corporate events—and the feedback was incredible. A groom told me he absolutely loved my acoustic version of “All the Small Things.” A bride’s mother raved about how well I nailed “Hasta La Raíz.” And one couple wrote in their review that they preferred my version of “Happy If You’re Happy” over the original. These moments were not just about impressing others; they were about connecting, expressing, taking pride in my work, and feeling a huge sense of accomplishment and level personal fulfillment.

In this blog, I’ll share how the principles of Extreme Ownership apply to mastering music and explore the five key benefits of truly owning a piece.

Owning a Piece of Music

In music, owning a piece is more than simply playing it well. It’s about mastering it to the point where it feels like a part of you—a “party piece” you can confidently play at a moment’s notice. My students have identified five key benefits of truly owning a piece, which go far beyond the superficial aim of impressing others:

1. Pride of Ownership
   Mastering a piece of music gives you a sense of pride. Just as taking full responsibility for a task builds confidence, mastering a song solidifies your identity as a musician. Whether it’s a challenging fingerstyle arrangement or a heartfelt ballad, knowing you can play it impeccably instills a deep sense of satisfaction.
2. Connection Through Music
   Music is a universal language, and owning a piece enables you to connect with others on artistic, personal, and even spiritual levels. When I perfected my acoustic version of “Hasta La Raíz” for a wedding, the bride’s mother told me how deeply it resonated with her. These moments of connection are priceless and underline music’s transformative power.
3. Enjoying Music as Pure Art
   Once you’ve mastered a piece, the act of playing it becomes a form of pure play. It’s no longer about hitting the right notes; it’s about immersing yourself in the music, enjoying its nuances, and experiencing its artistic beauty. This is a rewarding experience that only deep ownership can provide.
4. Authentic Self-Expression
   Mastery of a song allows you to express yourself genuinely, irrespective of whether others resonate with your performance. Music becomes a medium for conveying your emotions and sharing your unique voice. It’s an opportunity to draw listeners into your world and let them experience your feelings, even if just for a few minutes.
5. Impressing Others
   While not the ultimate goal, the ability to wow an audience or receive heartfelt compliments is a valuable byproduct of owning a piece. A groom once told me how much he loved my rendition of “All the Small Things,” while a couple mentioned in their review that my version of “Happy If You’re Happy” surpassed the original. Moments like these validate your hard work and leave lasting impressions.

Extreme Ownership for Musicians

The philosophy of Extreme Ownership aligns closely with the process of mastering music. Here’s how the core principles apply:

• Accountability: Taking full responsibility for your preparation and performance is crucial. Like Jocko Willink’s combat scenarios, there are no excuses in music—only results. If a performance falls short, the solution lies in better preparation. My experience preparing for Salsa Libre gigs taught me that success stems from going above and beyond.
• Preparation and Discipline: I didn’t just skim the charts for Salsa Libre; I immersed myself in the music for over 10 hours, refining each challenging passage. This level of preparation ensured I owned the music and delivered an authentic performance.
• Adaptability: Extreme Ownership encourages decentralized command—empowering others in a team. Similarly, in music, ownership of a piece doesn’t mean rigid perfection but fluid adaptability. Owning the music allows you to respond to unexpected moments, whether it’s improvising during a live performance or adjusting to a bandleader’s cues.

Applying Ownership to Your Musical Growth

The idea of owning a piece can be applied to all aspects of learning music, from solo practice to ensemble performance. Here are actionable steps to help you embrace Extreme Ownership in your musical journey:

1. Identify Your “Party Piece”

Choose a song that resonates with you—a piece you’re excited to master and share. Start by playing it regularly until it becomes second nature.

2. Prepare Like a Pro

Borrow from the principles of meticulous preparation I used for Salsa Libre gigs:

• Organize your sheet music or tabs.
• Identify and isolate tricky sections.
• Practice without audio references to internalize the piece.

3. Practice With Purpose

Targeted practice is key. Focus on specific challenges within the piece until they’re no longer obstacles. This will build your confidence and make the music feel like a natural extension of yourself.

4. Perform and Reflect

Play your piece for friends, family, or at open mics. Reflect on the experience and identify areas for improvement. Each performance brings you closer to truly owning the music.

5. Expand Your Repertoire

Once you’ve mastered one piece, challenge yourself with another. Over time, you’ll build a repertoire of “owned” songs, each a testament to your dedication and growth as a musician.

Read More On This Topic

Earlier this year, I wrote a blog titled Own the Music!, where I shared how going the extra mile to prepare for gigs elevated my performances. Clients noticed the effort, and their compliments reinforced the value of taking responsibility for every detail. These experiences highlighted how Extreme Ownership can make you not just a better performer but also a more fulfilled musician.

Conclusion: Play It, Own It, Live It

Extreme Ownership teaches us that true leadership—and success—comes from taking responsibility for every aspect of a task. In music, this translates to owning your performance, your preparation, and your pieces. The journey may be challenging, but the rewards are profound: pride, connection, artistic joy, self-expression, and the occasional awe-struck audience.

Sign up for a free trial lesson to discover how Guitar Lessons Ithaca can help you “own the music.” We offer lessons both in person and online. Simply fill out this form, and we’ll be in touch!